Little Stars: 'it's to acknowledge he was a person in his own right'

11.06.2025

A mum and dad who endured the heartache of child loss have spoken of the significance of an annual children’s memorial service.

Jen Sansom and Dewi Wilson are from Holywell and their son Owain was stillborn on November 29, 2014. They agreed to share their very personal story in the hope other bereaved parents would join them and many others at the Little Stars Memorial Service, held annually at St Asaph Cathedral. Jen and Dewi said the service was a chance for them and their two other children to spend an hour together just thinking about Owain.

Jen said: “We do talk about Owain with the children. They do talk about him periodically. The service is one hour, of one specified day, where we can all actually think about him. Together, all at the same time. It is just that time to think about him.”

The couple also view the service as a way to give their thanks and respect to those staff who cared for them while having all of their children.

Jen revealed her pregnancy with Owain had been difficult. She was considered a high risk for having a child with Down’s Syndrome but tests came back negative. She also suffered with high blood pressure related to her pregnancy. Then, shortly before the birth, everything seemed to work itself out and Jen felt they were over the worst. Dewi explained how there was always something concerning, before getting to a couple of weeks prior to Owain’s birth and feeling more secure.

“Maybe I dropped my guard at that point,” he said. “You know what, we’re over the hurdle now of the concern, then a couple of weeks later…”

Jen began to feel unwell and they were about to receive the most heart-breaking news a parent could hear.

“I rang the hospital because I was feeling unwell and I was being sick,” explained Jen. “I had gone home from work and slept most of the day. I was then conscious I hadn’t felt the baby move.”

She called the hospital and she was invited in so they could check on her and Owain. After being examined by maternity staff, including a consultant, they received the devastating news their baby didn’t have a heartbeat. Jen opted to stay in hospital and delivered Owain naturally the next morning. He weighed 3lbs 10oz.

She explained how she steeled herself to go through the birth, then felt almost detached and emotionless afterwards – like it hadn’t happened the way it had.

Dewi said: “I think it hit me harder, to start with, than it hit Jen.”

Jen added how she felt “almost emotionless” but it changed when she had to register both the birth and the death of Owain. She said it was at that point she “went downhill” and Dewi was her rock.

“I thought, I can’t be a mess if she is feeling like that, so I’m going to have to sort myself out,” he said.

A post mortem failed to reveal a cause for Owain’s stillbirth. Jen and Dewi spoke openly with each other and found a way to get by as they navigated the grief of their own personal tragedy.

One source of comfort was the Joshua’s Box they were given after Owain was born. It contained clothes, footprints, a teddy, a pot for a lock of hair and a slip of paper advertising the Little Stars Memorial Service, then held at Bodelwyddan’s Marble Church. It would become another source of comfort and support for them.

Over the years Owain’s Joshua’s Box has been added to and there are even mementos from their trips to the services.

Jen said: “It’s just something physical. It’s actually having something tangible. It’s not on display but we know it’s there and it’s got everything to do with him, to acknowledge he was a person in his own right. He was cremated so his ashes are there as well.”

Those annual visits to remember and celebrate Owain are permanent fixtures on the family’s calendar but they are not the end of their family’s story.

They welcomed a little boy two days shy of a year after Owain, then a daughter two years later, born on November 30. All three of their children were born within four days of each other in different years.

It’s created a strong family bond, in which Owain remains a huge part and it’s celebrated at the Little Stars Memorial Service every year. They also meet other families who have lost children – and the professionals who help them.

Jen said: “Also part of the reason we go to the service, it’s not just about me and Dewi and our loss. It’s our family, our friends but also the professionals who deal with that situation. It’s hard for them isn’t it?

“It takes the right kind of person who’s not just signed up to be a midwife and do all the lovely stuff - but the things entirely at the other end of the spectrum.”

Dewi recounted how a midwife who had helped them with Owain, was giving birth herself as they had their second son a year later.

He said: “Another nurse came in and said this nurse had recognised we’d had our son and wanted to see us. But she didn’t want to interrupt us when we were with our family. I wish she had come in.”

Jen added: “When you go to a service, a lot of those midwives come. I think it’s important they get recognised too, not just the parents.”

*The Little Stars Memorial Service take place at 5 pm on Sunday, July 6, at St Asaph Cathedral. All parents, family and friends of those who have lost children are welcome to attend.

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