'Brilliant' oncology nurses praised for supporting bereaved daughter in her time of need

10/10/2025

Being an acute oncology nurse is more than just tending to patients who are ill, but sometimes the support given to family members goes under the radar.

As part of this year’s Acute Oncology Services Awareness Week, we have focused on the support one lady received from our team after losing her mother to cancer. Joanne Alonso is from Holywell and her mother Iris Thomas died in July 2022, at Holywell Community Hospital.

Describing her mum, Joanne said: “Oh, my mum was amazing. She was gregarious, sociable. She was part of the Bowling Club. She was part of a Bridge club in Holywell. She did everything really that she could. She was a very positive, very outgoing person, with an amazing sense of humour.”

Despite always being fit and active, Iris began to lose weight in 2021. Initially, she seemed happy about losing weight but Joanne began to become concerned because her mum’s food intake had dropped.

“First of all, Mum was saying ‘look at me now, I weigh as much as when I was 18’,” said Joanne. “We were saying ‘but you’re not eating’. She was still trying to go to bridge. She struggled with everything but she did it.”

Fighting back tears, Joanne described how Iris’s condition deteriorated. Around three months before she died, Joanne was at Glan Clwyd Hospital with her mum.

She said: “Mum was supposed to go for a scan but initially she was ill and couldn’t go. She had an infection. We didn’t know what was wrong and the scan was to find out. So, she was put in for another scan. That was a horrible day. We were just in to see if there was any treatment.

“The doctor came round to speak to us and it was damning. The cancer was everywhere. It was more or less ‘that is it’. I thought it was going to be something like that because I knew my mum so well. Mum knew from even earlier really.

“She wasn’t a touchy-feely type of person but she was hugging every one when she became ill. It made me wonder why? I went in to denial really though.”

After the shocking diagnosis was delivered, cancer service advanced nurse practitioner Nia Blackborow and advanced acute oncology nurse practitioner Michael Schofield introduced themselves to Joanne.

They were realistic about Iris’s prognosis but Joanne says they were caring and gave her the emotional support she needed, far and away above what she expected.

She said: “While mum was still alive I wanted to see if there was something they could give her to stop the cancer spreading. But it was just too late. Nia gave me their number so I could contact them if I had any questions.

“Obviously it was emotional support they were there for as well and then, when [mum] was comfortable, to be able to have someone to refer to.”

Joanne said the support and the ability to share a sense of humour was vital. As Iris’s condition deteriorated over the next few months, Nia and Michael even arranged for her to be transferred to Holywell Community Hospital, nearer her family.

Joanne said: “They sorted that out for us so we didn’t have to. You don’t want to deal with that stuff. They were lovely with mum and never patronising. They explained everything to me. It was really hard for them as well.

“They also helped us with the social worker because we were thinking about mum going to a home.”

Iris died on July 27, 2022, leaving Joanne grief-stricken. Yet, the support from Nia and Michael didn’t end there. In fact, it stepped up in ways Joanne never expected.

“I told Nia I was struggling,” Joanne explained. “And I've got nowhere to go with this. There's no help. There was just no help whatsoever for me. It was awful and you’re dealing with the funeral and everything like that.

“They said ‘you can come and see us if you want. You can come to talk and we’ll try and help in any way we can’. They saw me for weeks. The bereavement charity I went to said they wouldn’t see me until six months had passed.

“They were there to answer the clinical, the medical side and to help me psychologically. That helped me make sense of things. They gave me the tools to cope with my grief. They just kept seeing me. They brought me out of myself a little bit with humour and talking about my mum because they knew her. That was massive for me be able to talk about her.

“I didn't expect that level of support at all. But it was invaluable, really, because I was so angry.”

Joanne says they gave her some positivity and helped her gain the skills to navigate her sorrow. They also passed on details of organisations which could help her. Now life is getting better.

“They filled the gap when I needed it. I still struggle. I haven’t got that dark cloud any more but I get emotional. I’m an emotional person. I just want to thank Nia and Michael. They were brilliant, really brilliant.”

Cancer service advanced nurse practitioner, Nia Blackborow, said: “Joanne and her mum were under the care of the cancer of unknown primary team at this very difficult time. It was clear they were incredibly close.

“As the situation changed, Joanne was obviously very distressed about the situation. We offered her extra support in the form of a listening ear, on a weekly basis, to bridge the gap between her mum’s passing and the official bereavement counselling. We’re so glad we were able to help her.”

*The cancer of unknown primary service (CUP) is nurse-led in North Wales, which is unique to any other area, allowing the flexibility to provide extra support to patients and families during difficult times. It will also be the first CUP service to have an advanced nurse practitioner as clinical lead, driving the service forward and giving truly holistic care.

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