Being a parent is amazing but can be stressful – so remember ICON to help you cope when your baby is crying
Small babies cry when they need a parent or carer. This is because their brains are not fully developed, and they can't understand their surroundings or control their emotions yet.
Crying is meant to be upsetting for a parent. Crying is nature’s way of making sure parents know their babies need something and pay attention to them.
A cry could mean lots of things. Your baby could be uncomfortable, hungry or startled.
Sometimes, babies cry for no reason at all – and sometimes they cry and cannot be settled. This may be upsetting or frustrating for both the baby and their mum or dad, but it causes no harm and will eventually stop.
Crying is normal and it will end. You can cope. It is OK to walk away if you need to. Never, ever shake your baby. Please pass on this important message to anyone who will be caring for your baby.
Babies start to cry more at about 2 weeks of age. They may cry more often and their crying may last longer during the following few weeks. It will reach a peak at about 6 – 8 weeks, sometimes a little later. Every baby is different, but after about 2 – 3 months, babies start to cry less and less each week.
After about 5 months, the experts say that crying becomes more ‘purposeful’. That means after 5 months of age, your baby is more likely to be crying for a reason.
When your baby is upset or crying, try gently rocking them:
Babies constantly move inside the womb, so slow and soothing movements can be very comforting.
Your baby may be crying because he or she is hungry. They may get comfort from feeding, and from the closeness or routine of feeding.
Every baby is different, so try different things to see what your baby likes.
You could hold them:
Keeping your baby close will help them to feel safe. Advice about safe sleeping for babies can help us make sure we don’t unintentionally put them at risk of harm.
If your baby is restless or crying, take them for a short walk. Babies often feel soothed by movement and sometimes like to feel air on their faces.
A short car journey or bus ride can also be very soothing. Guidance on car seats and driving with your baby is available from the Lullaby Trust.
Babies are used to hearing soft and rhythmic sounds inside the womb, so to help soothe your baby you could:
If your baby’s crying gets too much:
As long as your baby is safe, just focus on feeling calm. Only go back if your baby suddenly goes quiet. You shouldn’t leave your baby alone regularly, but sometimes it is more important to give yourself the chance to calm down.
If you’re struggling to cope, talk to other parents, friends or family members. Sometimes a friendly voice or some new ideas are all you need.
You can also talk to your:
They will be able to offer you support and advice.